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Oct 10 2007

How to Succeed on a First Date

Published by kotty at 4:06 am under Uncategorized Edit This

  1. Cell phone - No, not so you can receive an “Acura distributor cap ” call in case you need to beat a hasty retreat. That trick predates the rotary phone; it’s insulting and frankly unnecessary. Why? Sure, some first dates are worthy of quick escapes, but that’s why you plan them to be brief in the first place. Just a drink or coffee before the next thing on your schedule. A first date does not merit a five-course meal or even a dinner and a movie. You like him, you hope for a second, open-ended date; you don’t like him, you’ll live through one latte. Wait, then what’s the cell phone for? To call your best friend with a report from the ladies’ room. No matter how the date is going, checking in for a giggle moment makes the date fun, no matter what. And isn’t that kind of the point of this whole dating thing?
  2. Texture - Here’s a top tip from friend-boys: wear something soft and touchable — a velvet top, angora sweater, silky pants. Drives ‘em nuts, but let them wait until Date #2 before they actually get to touch.
  3. Breath mints - Specifically those cool, paper-thin strips that look like plastic but magically melt in your mouth. Win-win-win-win: They’re (a) strong enough to combat even the fiercest garlic attack, (b) a great topic for a lagging conversation, (c) a perfect “conversation piece” if your date has breath issues, and (d) a potentially sassy flirting move (”Gee, isn’t that a wild feeling on your tongue?”).
  4. Discretion - Do not mention dud dates, evil exes or lingering loneliness. Not one word. Positivity — even a little mystery — is the better part of valor.
  5. Perspective - Though having a string of unappealing dates can be wearing, it’s almost never a waste of time. For one thing, the worst that can happen is a good story (see Tip #1). And at this stage of the dating game, you should be most interested in quantity; you have to go on lots of first dates so that your judgment and perspective remain intact, so that you don’t overrate someone’s appeal by thinking “He’s the one!‿ when in fact he’s only the one who called! For now, quantity begets quality. Each date, no matter how taxing, counts. So even the worst first date gets you one step closer to the best!
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